Waiting in the dungeon

This came in early in the morning. 

First thoughts:

"Why would it take so long to verify a police check and a photocopy of a passport?!"

"What a waste of time!! If they could have let us know earlier, I could have flown back to US with Dennis and spent a couple months with him!!"

"Again, what a waste of time...I could have spent all these months working...and earning money and saving some and giving some to my parents..!"

"I feel so invalid as a person. Not working for so long...I feel like I am not contributing at all.."

Out of the thoughts, number 3 and 4 were especially troubling...because they point to wrong beliefs that I think I still habour regarding the 'worth' and value of a person.. Processed those thoughts with my very wise husband and he also pointed out that if I had been working, I might not have had the privilege to journey and bring some of my friends to Christ and various churches..

The initial fury has now turned into acceptance and possible thanksgiving...

The Keeper and I have not actually 'wasted' these last few months and have in fact invested heavily time-wise in our marriage and friendship and had a couple hours of conversation everyday...and we are at a place where we both feel known and loved..

The godly community that I thought that I might establish with the people in the church I was attending by serving in the children's church...is now being filled by friends in Soakability church who have really taken me under their wings- in no small measure thanks to the goodwill of my eldest sister who has been there for the past couple of years. I joined them for an outreach on Sunday and they were all so friendly and welcoming that I was rather taken aback.. and the other thing about Soakability is their mobility...they have three people going for bethel's school of supernatural in a couple of weeks..and through them, I also met a guy who's based in a charismatic church in North Carolina..feels as if God is putting out a network for me and paving the way before I step onto US soil... 

Something that I didn't quite expect was the equipping...it started out more of accompanying a friend for the Monday classes at school of supernatural and now I'm learning about prophecies, word of knowledge and healing...which also might come in pretty handy in the States.. 

And the last thing which I don't think was quite possible is the restoration of relationships between my family and myself... I feel like a person who is sinking and drowning and have depleted all my energy and human devices..hopefully this is when God can swop in and move mightily...

God, You are good and You are in control and You have our future in Your hands. And we put our whole trust in you.