tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25463638243837634102024-03-05T04:42:37.930-08:00 City Lights to Green Pastures.. ioyceshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06270035915803070000noreply@blogger.comBlogger78125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546363824383763410.post-47586267432965545982015-11-06T15:44:00.001-08:002015-11-07T17:16:02.358-08:00So very nearly there...Today I am 40 weeks + 2 days pregnant and the renovations for our home is nearly completed other than the mantel in our bedroom but that's not a big deal...the tile backsplash and fireplace finally got done and I cannot be happier..! <div>Baby is doing well- we had the non stress test done on Thursday but the midwife is rather keen for me to give birth sooner rather than later so the original plan of waiting till November 14th would have to be scraped...she suggested a membrane sweep for my next appointment and I went ahead and ate some fresh pineapple this morning...and boy, it does seem to have some effects...the mucous plug fell off about three hours later! (It looks gross...like a slimy bloody slug..) I'm not sure if I'm having contractions or stomach cramps but it's ok- we are prepared for baby to arrive any time...(but I do hope it will be on Sunday instead of Saturday...cos the hospital won't be so packed, traffic is usually better and I'd like to go to Cincinnati tomorrow to pick up some baby clothes from a friend...! the other friend who said she will give us baby clothes gave them away to some other stranger cos she felt that stranger was more in need than us..which i reckon would be true but somewhat jarring considering that she told me not to get any baby clothes..?! Fortunately I already got some before she told me that...otherwise I might feel extremely resentful...) the other random thing I have on my mind is a couple who gave me three sets of baby clothes for the baby shower with the price tags on- the total value of the clothes were close to $50 but there was no gift receipts...and the corned were all 0-3 months which we have too much off...so I went back to the store with the hope of exchanging them for bigger sizes...and those clothes were on clearance...so sizes were limited and they were on 20% with an additional 75% off...so the total cost would have been closer to $10 than $50...I know I sound extremely petty but I guess I just don't understand why someone would do that ...or rather I do not have a good explanation other than the fact the giver was deliberately trying to give us the impression that they spent much more than they did? And that they really didn't care about what we wanted or needed...? (Cos we did try to tell everyone not to give us baby clothes..) so what is it about the gift? I mean, I love bargain hunting and can't resist a bargain and would frequently buy stuff for owllike just cos they are on sale and I think they would like it but I guess I wouldn't leave the price tags on...cos that's tacky..? Lord Jesus, help me see how gracious you are to me so that I can reflect the same graciousness to other people...and also, not stress out so much about stuff that my baby might need...! </div>ioyceshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06270035915803070000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546363824383763410.post-24973315890424679952015-09-23T09:01:00.001-07:002015-09-23T09:01:14.724-07:00learn to forgive...This morning, I listened to this <a href="http://www.focusonthefamily.com/media/daily-broadcast/finding-peace-through-forgiveness">podcast</a>...and it suddenly struck me that I have been saying the same thing about different situations over and over again..<br />
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"Why don't they apologize?!" or "Why are they not apologetic at all..?!"<br />
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Over the last few weeks, the house has been undergoing major renovations...first it was the kitchen then it was upstairs and later this week, renovations will begin on the downstairs....<br />
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on paper, it doesn't sound so complicated....buy all the appliances and things needed, make a list of things to do, give it to the contractor, make sure they do it, finished!<br />
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well, things that we bought sometimes don't come on time..(the tv took more than four weeks and arrived damaged...now we are waiting for a replacement..the calls to the company made my blood pressure shoot up extremely high I think...I always like to imagine myself as a 'nice' person but during the calls to the company, a monster comes out...) or when they arrive, the delivery people don't do a fantastic job (the fridge was stained by the greasy fingerprints of the delivery guys but the worst part was that they dropped the tray of the water dispenser in the drive way and I only found it by accident and they also told me that the fridge did not have any mechanisms to level it....not true..) or in the most stressful scenario, the company did not deliver to our area and we had to borrow a truck and drive somewhere to get it (the shower cubicle which was in a store in Cincinnati- a 1.5 hour drive one way and the sectional which Dennis' colleague helped us transport in his truck and trailer..) ..<br />
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and the contractors don't turn up on time as they said they will or finish their job properly (we are still waiting for the backsplash to do completed...the guy was late for three hours installing the countertop and the first words out of his mouth were: "Aren't you glad I'm here?" Actually at that point, I just wanted my money back!)<br />
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The main contractor that we are working with is a really nice fella but he doesn't always do the things I ask him to do...he seems to have some set ideas of his own of how he wants things to proceed....so even though I handed him a really comprehensive list of things to do done in every room, he doesn't refer to it and some things require repeated reminding....at this point, I think I'm rather sanguine, but every time I step on the slopping kitchen floor, I think about the creaking steps on the stairway and make a mental note to get the main contractor to fix them before carpet is laid down...<br />
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Even with friends on whatsapp who don't reply in a timely manner or do things they say they will do, I'm not very inclined to continue chatting with them and might just leave the conversation hanging...(this is really unlike me and actually very comfortable for someone who loves closure...but I think it shows the extent of how hardened my heart has become towards those friends..almost like a tit for tat..)<br />
<br class="Apple-interchange-newline" />So back to the original point...why do I feel like so many people 'owe' me an apology?<br />
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Because of my parents.<br />
<br />
huh?<br />
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Yup, because I feel like they have hurt me in so many ways and even when I tell them that I am wounded and affected by their words and behavior, they don't seem to care and tell me to suck it up!<br />
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Yeah, I think that's it....cos I feel so 'wronged' by my parents and that I wish desperately that they would 'repent' and apologize that this anger and sense of injustice just spills over to other areas of my life...hmmm. :/<br />
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<br />ioyceshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06270035915803070000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546363824383763410.post-49443465600305080452015-07-23T09:55:00.000-07:002015-07-23T10:37:26.038-07:00unhelpful communicationFlash back to April when my parents made those comments about the pregnancy, I wrote in to a Christian counseling podcast...and this was the <a href="http://karolynmerrimanshow.com/2015/04/10/using-the-its-just-the-way-i-am-excuse/">episode </a>with the their answers...(my 'wish' did come true...my sister IS having a girl and I am having a boy and I thought three months of not talking to my parents might have sent them the message that it's not ok for me to say things about gender preferences to me but the first thing my dad said to me was, "Congratulations!!!' I asked him what he was congratulating me for and he replied that it's because I'm having a boy....and I said that boys are just as good as girls and his answer? "*sigh* no matter what, boys are better...")<br>
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and this is the<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Children-Self-Absorbed-Grown-Ups-Getting-Narcissistic/dp/1572245611"> book</a> which the counselor recommended: (which I did purchase but felt somewhat guilty about reading because it's hard to think of my parents as being self absorbed and abusive...)</div>
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and today upon waking up, I was surprised to see a notification on facebook from my mom...she had commented on my week 25 bump shot photo....this is the first time she has ever commented on any picture (she doesn't even use the 'like' function..) so I was intrigued to see what she had to say.. </div>
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and it was: </div>
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"Did you have a hair cut? Your face looks rounder." </div>
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And now, I think the purchase of the book was totally justified. And harsh as it might seem, it might not be that far from the truth that my mother does not understand how her speech and actions might negatively impact the people around her (and she doesn't care even if people tell her that they are hurt by her remarks). Just boggles my mind though....what deep rooted wrong beliefs does she have to be able to pass such a comment on social media to a daughter who is pregnant and who she knows used to suffer from a eating disorder? </div>
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It must take a whole new level of callousness and stupidity. </div>
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Speaking of which, last night the cell group went out for dinner and there was six of us in total..there was one older couple, a older lady who brought her teenage niece and Dennis and myself. </div>
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The older couple have a strange relationship...the guy even though he's in his late fifties, behaves like an annoying pre-teen boy and would frequently say things just to irritate his wife or tell jokes which are extremely lame and corny...and other people (and his wife) would react with obvious eye rolling... </div>
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we were seated at a rectangular table meant for eight and the wife was running a little late and when she arrived, her husband put his hand down on the chair next to him and said it was taken (it wasn't; he was being facetious) so she said, "Just as well!" and sat down two seats away from him and put her bag on the seat between them... </div>
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I thought it was rather awkward and made things seem somewhat tense...especially cos she was sitting all by herself separated from the rest of the group...to say that I was agitated is to put it mildly, I really wanted to smack that guy and ask what's in his brain?! Why would you treat your wife like that in public? It doesn't make you or her look good! It's not a good example for anyone to follow!</div>
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And the icing on the cake? I went to the washroom after the meal was finished and upon my return, my husband cracked a lame joke..referring to my pregnant belly, he said loudly enough for the whole group to hear, "Oh you obviously ate too much...!" I think I was a bit too shocked to react and just laughed it off.. </div>
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But inside, I was really confused...why would my normally extremely considerate husband say something stupid like that? Ah, maybe it's the influence of that childish guy next to him... ?! (the husband did apologize after the dinner and this morning..) </div>
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I'm not sure too of the purpose of documenting all these... maybe something like a pouring out of toxins? </div>
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and my prayer? Father God, help to see people though your eyes, even when they knowingly or unknowingly say or do hurtful things and help me to pay back good for evil and to run to you for love and comfort first and foremost and to be cocooned in the safety of your truth and what you think of me and my appearance and be oblivious to even what my parents, husband or any one would say. </div>
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If it does not align with what you think, I will choose to discard it like trash. And lord, help me to have a heart that does not keep offenses and is able to forgive easily and quickly and to be at peace with other people. Please heal the parts of my heart which are wounded and give me the wisdom to overlook and to forget. </div>
ioyceshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06270035915803070000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546363824383763410.post-70361109609680848372015-07-17T10:54:00.001-07:002015-07-21T08:02:08.968-07:00Love is gentle, love is kind..<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 23px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">
It's amazing how well the husband knows me and can read my facial expressions nowadays...</div>
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Case in point: while shopping at an Asian grocer, I can't find the same bottle of light soy sauce that I have been using but see a gallon version of it...then I say aloud, "but I just threw the empty glass bottle in the garbage..." </div>
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The husband smiles at me and I ask him what he's smiling at...</div>
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His reply: "you're thinking whether to pick it up from the garbage or not...you know exactly where the bottle is..."</div>
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"How did you know?!!!!" (No, we bought a different brand in the end..)</div>
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In other news, I'm really thankful for how gentle and kind my husband is...we were planning to watch a movie and for some reason, I saw that the movie timing was 6.20pm and it was around 5.30pm that we just finished our dinner and I commented that we still have plenty of time...out of the blue, the husband asked,"are you sure it's 6.20?" "Yup..." He doubled checked and nope, it was actually 5.45pm!!! So we took off and drove hastily to the cinema which was about 10 minutes away and prayed that traffic wouldn't be too bad...and he didn't show any sign of anger or displeasure...I apologized a couple of times but he wasn't upset at all...</div>
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And last night I couldn't sleep and after the husband had fallen asleep, I went out to the living room and slept on the couch instead...around 5am, there was some loud cat fighting noises outside the house and I heard my husband stir and he got out of our bedroom and looked at me tenderly and sat down next to me and stroked my hand...he seemed really sorry that I was sleeping on the couch...</div>
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God, thank you for such an awesome husband!!</div>
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ioyceshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06270035915803070000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546363824383763410.post-26712644332245221482015-07-10T11:48:00.001-07:002015-07-10T12:00:39.174-07:00Updates on Baby Ison<span style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 23px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">We had a small scare at about 18 weeks after a blood test for genetic defects came back "slight positive" for Down's syndrome....</span><br><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 23px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><br></div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 23px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">I'm not sure how to explain it clearly but it's not so much the thought that my baby might not have the life that I had envisioned for him but more so the fear that I did not have the capacity to love a child with 'defects'...it made me think that I might be the same as my own mother who rejected her own children because she thought that they were not good enough just cos they weren't boys...</div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 23px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><br></div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 23px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">Yeah, I think I was a bit melancholic back then...</div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 23px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><br></div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 23px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">The ultrasound showed that everything was normal and baby had none of the soft indicators that is suggestive of Down's so we decided not to have further tests...</div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 23px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><br></div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 23px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">And now I'm at week 23, feeling really pregnant and amazed at how big the belly is...(yes, I have saying this for a while but still! It's like growing fat really quickly and suddenly!!!) </div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 23px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><br></div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 23px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">Baby's kicks are really obvious now and even Dennis can feel them when he puts his hand on my belly...he says it feels as in my muscles are twitching...I assured him that it's our little boy and not me...</div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 23px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><br></div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 23px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">And we have decided on a middle name for baby Ison...it is “義生” or on his birth certificate, "Yisheng"..."義” means righteousness and if you look at the word, it's a lamb/"羊” over me/ "我”…and I think it explains the gospel succinctly...and "生” means to abound, multiple or produce...the name also sounds like "医生”/doctor...and together with our last name Ison/ "爱神”, his Chinese name can also sound like "一生爱神” and it is my prayer that righteousness will abound in Baby Ison's generation and God will use him as an instrument to bring healing and wholeness to the people around him and that Baby Ison will love God all of his life. (A lot of word play and wishes I know...! May God answer my prayers for Yisheng and may he fulfill the destiny God has planned for him!)</div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 23px; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><br></div>ioyceshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06270035915803070000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546363824383763410.post-27223042105524172432015-07-09T13:29:00.000-07:002015-07-09T13:29:26.092-07:00Theology Theology: "the study of the nature of God and religious beliefs"<br />
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It sounds like a big word but it isn't really...<br />
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(having a blog is really good, even if no one else other me and my husband read it, for the express fact that I can look back at half a year a go and am shocked that I am upset about the same thing..)<br />
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So what made me upset enough to blog again?!<br />
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Ah...the same old...a stand in pastor preaching about the deceptively wicked human heart and how God is waiting to judge all our sins and the sins of the world...and how we need to go out and tell all the sinners out there...(he was preaching at the evening service..which means that only the most 'faithful' of the congregation will attend and which also means, the audience were alllll believers..)<br />
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My beef?<br />
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What then of the cross? Of the sacrifice of Christ? Did not he already die for the sins of the world?<br />
What judgement is then left? The wrath of God was satisfied on the cross...<br />
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And the God I know is patient, loving, kind and gentle. He does not sound one bit like the God you are preaching about.<br />
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The preacher was surely sincerely and truly believed that it was important that the message that "we" are all sinners in need of a saviour needed to be spread...but, we are no longer sinners in God's eyes!!!<br />
Once a person accepts Christ, God sees him through the lens of Jesus's work and we are redeemed, righteous and at peace with him!<br />
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The difference between this time and half a year ago is that my husband is now rather concerned about my many 'complaints' against 'his' church...<br />
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He reckons that I might be focusing too much on the negatives and ignoring the good...<br />
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so let's do a stock take...<br />
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I've been here since November 2014...that makes it about seven months...other than one couple whom we hang out with regularly, I can't claim to have made friends with many other people in church....not for lack of trying...there were three ladies I tried to reach out to...the pastor's wife, our cell group leader's wife and Dennis' good friend's wife...and they all have something in common...they do not respond to messages...yup, I'm not kidding. No replies mostly or very curt ones..<br />
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I guess that really pissed me off...'cos in my mind, I might have thought, "ok, these folks don't do the supernatural stuff...maybe they are just focused on being loving..." But how loving is a person when they do not even want to connect with a newcomer who reaches to them?<br />
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And then of course, there is all that identity stuff....do not tell your people that they are sinners and be surprised then they struggle with sin in their lives... Isn't it the same as telling a five year old, "You are a crazy boy." and then being taken aback when he runs around wildly and doesn't listen to instructions?<br />
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The small group is doing a bible study on the Holy Spirit and I thought, 'Yay! Finally! Things are going to get exciting around here!" But what most of them thought was that the Holy Spirit enables them to be better people and if they do feel guilty, yup, that's God's spirit working in them...<br />
my dear friends, when you have thoughts beating you down, that's not from God...that's either yourself or the devil....<br />
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Dennis and I had a somewhat heated discussion last night and I went for a shower and waited for him to come back to the bedroom but he didn't return and I went out to the living room to find him with his head between his hands, looking visibly upset...I asked him what he was doing..he said he was praying and asked me what I'd do in his situation...I said I'd be praying too... and he blurted out, "Do you wanna change church or something...?"<br />
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Actually I don't...I do like the people there...most of them seem rather friendly and are nice... if somewhat distant....and Dennis has been there for the past five years and I know how he values relationships and is an extremely loyal friend but when I look at the bible study materials and listen to the sermons there, I sometimes just want to tune out completely...cos if I play attention, it makes me want to scream, "Don't teach things which are not true about my God!"<br />
<br />ioyceshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06270035915803070000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546363824383763410.post-64982836675643025452015-04-07T12:24:00.002-07:002015-04-07T12:30:15.143-07:00unmet expectations... <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There are times when I think that I have the worst parents in the world...(but surely that must be an exaggeration...and how ungrateful does a person sound when they say something like that?!)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But I do feel this way. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Face timed my mom yesterday and the first thing she said was, "Your younger sister is pregnant!" </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"That's great! How many months is she?"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Humph! She's well ahead of you! She's already three months!!" (I wasn't aware there was a competition going on..) </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then she passed the phone over to my sister and we excitedly talked for about 30 minutes (we discovered we had many similar symptoms...like a slowed down digestive system and really really really bad gas..) until my mom decided that it's long enough and she wanted to hang up. But before hanging up, she said, </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Dad's wish came true."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Oh?"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"He said that he wished that Chin Boon was the one pregnant, not you. Because your baby will be too far away for him to even touch."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I think i was too stunned to even reply and the call ended after that. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How stupid is that?!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Can't he wish for BOTH of us to be pregnant? Why must be it one or the other? Can't good things happen to everyone? And why does my mom have to tell me that and make it seem like there's some sort of rivalry going on?! Is there a bigger inheritance or more love for the oldest grandchild who will not even share your surname!? (And I'm not even going to start on the gender...my parents clearly value boys over girls...)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What is this?! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I think my parents are the sort of people who might never ever be happy. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">During my wedding dinner, I made so many accommodations for them and felt that I had really bent over backwards but yet in the end, they still had nothing but complaints. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"The food was the worst we had ever eaten in our lives!!!" (maybe being dramatic is hereditary..) </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I think I really try to be a 'good daughter'...to be responsible, have a job, give them money every month, get married and settle down...and give them grandchildren...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">but ok, all these is just not good enough. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I thought I had already decided to stop wanting to please my parents but evidently that desire is still deeply rooted. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I can only say I am so glad I am physically very far from them. I have really tried to be filial and I'm sorry if it's always not good enough. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Jesus said in Luke 14:26 that "if <span style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #001320; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters--yes, even their own life--such a person cannot be my disciple." </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #001320; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #001320;"><span style="background-color: #fdfeff; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;">That sentence puzzled me for a long time...surely the God who is love personified, is not telling us to hate the people around us? </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #001320;"><span style="background-color: #fdfeff; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #001320;"><span style="background-color: #fdfeff; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;">Recently someone explained the verse this way...that Jesus actually meant that if anyone loves their father, mother, wife, children, brothers, sisters and their own lives above how much they loved Jesus, then that person cannot be his disciple... </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #001320;"><span style="background-color: #fdfeff; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #001320;"><span style="background-color: #fdfeff; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;">That made sense...and I think God might be wanting to spare us unnecessary pain and heartache when we put our hope and our first love in people who will fail us....that if He is the source of my well being and my security and identity and the one I seek to please the most, I can emerge out of bitter expectations ("why can't they be better parents? Why can't they be more understanding? More diplomatic? Wiser!?!") like what happened with my parents relatively unscathed... </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #001320;"><span style="background-color: #fdfeff; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #001320;"><span style="background-color: #fdfeff; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;">It's ok, baby...even though your maternal grandparents don't think that you are such a great idea, you are God's beloved creation and He thinks the world of you and has destined you to be a blessing to the world. And of course, mom and dad already love you and welcome you. </span></span></div>
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ioyceshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06270035915803070000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546363824383763410.post-60063115869220542722015-03-04T12:23:00.000-08:002015-03-04T12:23:39.416-08:00Things not to say to a pregnant person....I'm pretty sure this is not going to be comprehensive....but let's give it a go...<br />
<br />
1. "Say goodbye to your independence for the next twenty years..."<br />
2. "You will finally understand the amount of stress I'm under..."<br />
3. "I had *describe horrific symptoms in excruciating detail* but hope you don't get them..."<br />
<br />
Some lovely and safe things to say on the other hand....<br />
<br />
1. Congratulations!<br />
2. I'm so happy for you guys!<br />
3. What awesome news!<br />
<br />
I guess with pregnancies, especially first timers, it can be a journey fraught with uncertainties..I mean, there is a million and one things to worry about if one is so inclined.....<br />
<br />
and the person who should have the last word?<br />
<br />
God.<br />
<br />
Today He said very plainly: I am the giver of good things. I am the giver of life, not death. I am your good Father.<br />
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And yes, in You, we put our trust for a safe, smooth pregnancy, delivery and baby and that You will give us the wisdom and energy to raise up the children You have entrusted us with.<br />
<br />ioyceshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06270035915803070000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546363824383763410.post-74590483175793479332015-03-03T13:14:00.001-08:002015-03-04T06:47:40.519-08:00We have a bun.......in <span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">the oven...due November. </span><br />
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Yes! We are expecting a baby!</div>
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Bull's eye!! Within the first month of trying!</div>
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God, you are so good!!! </div>
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I cried when the digital test kit flashed "pregnant"...the joy and excitement of new life but mainly 'cos I thought God has been telling me that I'm pregnant but I had dismissed it as me being slightly unhinged...</div>
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We started trying on the 10th feb and on 12th feb, a friend messaged me and asked if I'm pregnant because when she was praying for me, she saw a baby in a ratten basket..my reaction was to laugh and exclaim: "If I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant one day!!!" </div>
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And then last week, I received a copy of 'American Baby' with my name in the mail...I didn't sign up for it and wondered who did...but when I saw the cover- it was a blond baby boy in a blue and orange one piece- I had a sense of peace and knowing that I was carrying a boy...and he would be an "American baby"...</div>
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Thank you God for the advance notices and reassurances...thank you for the privilege of being parents and growing our family! We are so grateful!</div>
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ioyceshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06270035915803070000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546363824383763410.post-80842750088493036072015-01-26T12:37:00.001-08:002015-01-26T12:37:03.903-08:00The Key to FreedomThe preacher last night started his sermon with the question..."Who are you?"<br />
<br />
In my mind, I immediately answered, "Daughter of God".<br />
<br />
He went on to suggest that many define themselves by what they do, by the careers they have... and then things became a little more heavy as he talked about how the heart is deceitful beyond all things and how deep down, we are wicked..and he was quick to confess that he is legalistic himself and how many are the same as him....sinful but not aware of how sinful they are...<br />
<br />
My problem?<br />
<br />
He was preaching to a bunch of Christians. I was pretty sure that every single person in that room had already received Christ, there was just one visitor in the venue...<br />
<br />
It looks good to be humble...to beat up our chests and cry out to God, "OH! I'm so unworthy! I'm so sinful!!! Oh! God! Just do whatever you want with my and my life!!!!"<br />
<br />
And God says, "Child, stop that. I don't see you as sinful. I see you as whole and perfect. Because when I see you, I see the image of Christ. Go and share of my love with other people. Do not tell them lies about me. I am not a harsh, angry and distant God, ready to strike down any man and woman when they sin. I am a long suffering, loving and compassionate father who's always watching the horizon for the return of the prodigal."<br />
<br />
When a person believes that they are inherently sinful and deeply flawed even after receiving Christ, is it any wonder that they will continue to struggle with sin? And what is sin? Coping mechanisms to get what we think God won't give us....providence, comfort, pleasures, desires...<br />
<br />
If I think God will not provide me with enough money, I will cheat, steal and lie...and even murder when it comes to that....<br />
If I think God will not comfort me, I might turn to drugs, food, drink, tv, sex for comfort...<br />
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I used to struggle alot with negative thoughts and addictions...to masturbation, to food... why? The addictive behaviors were comforting...if I felt down, frustrated, lonely, that's what I'd do...<br />
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How about now? I talk to God and I listen to what He has to say. And that sets me free. My heavenly Father is more than ready to talk to me anytime and gives me full assurance that he is for me, not against me..that he will never forsake or leave me and His plans for me are to give me a hope and a future. It sounds all so cliche...but that is truly the key to the freedom that I'm experiencing now...<br />
<br />
Because God is my father, I am free NOT to sin and I am free to be who He created me to be...that I do not have to conform to the expectations of other people, I am free to love myself and others unconditionally because we are wonderfully and fearfully made and I have hope for now and for eternity.<br />
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ioyceshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06270035915803070000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546363824383763410.post-37348474864380350072015-01-09T10:24:00.000-08:002015-01-09T10:24:59.794-08:00catch up Blogging is such a wonderful way to keep track of things and I wish I had been more diligent because it's been so long since the last post that I am sort of at a loss as to where to start...<br />
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so...</div>
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I left Singapore for the States on the 19th of November 2014 and was finally reunited with the Keeper.....when I first arrived, I thought it was cold...around one to five degrees....today, it's minus sixteen?!!! It's been interesting trying to settle in and finding my place in the house...getting used to the kitchen, using the appliances (washing machine, dryer, vacuum cleaner- yes, I didn't think it would be so daunting to use appliances which are much bigger and heavier than what I have been used to..) Initially I found it hard to cope with the cold- I just felt like sleeping and was very lethargic and felt sorta guilty for not being more productive...thankfully my husband has been very understanding....he's the sort of person who doesn't let the behaviour of other people affect him...so if I'm not doing my 'share' of the housework, he's still doing his (and mine!)....or maybe he just doesn't have the notion of 'mine' and 'hers' and that it's all 'ours'... </div>
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the best thing so far...other than being able to see the man of my dreams every day...would be to cook for him...</div>
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am toying with the idea of a food blog but not sure if it's too much trouble...</div>
ioyceshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06270035915803070000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546363824383763410.post-10232140103645356462014-11-09T16:58:00.001-08:002014-11-09T16:58:00.105-08:00The Keeper's Garden<div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">So the Keeper and I had differing views of the most appropriate counsel to give a friend...in my mind I thought that my approach would be superior, "How many women has my husband counseled? Of course I would be more experienced in this area and my advice would be better..." </span></div><div><br></div><div>As I opened my mouth to verbalize those thoughts, the answer suddenly dawned ...</div><div><br></div><div>"The Keeper has been consistently counseling one woman....it's an extremely difficult case but he's done really well..."</div><div><br></div><div>Me. </div><div><br></div><div>How blessed am I to have the privilege of his wisdom and loving attention everyday...just as a gardener carefully tends to his garden, I am grateful for his guidance in snipping off destructive thought patterns and behaviors and handling wounded areas tenderly, watering them with love and exposing them to the light of God's truth...</div><div><br></div><div>(PS: I think that a husband is not responsible for his wife's emotional health but I am immensely thankful that God has given a spouse whom, when challenging events happen and I break down, does not tell me to "Stop it! It's no big deal" and instead says, "I can understand how that would be hurtful. I'm sorry to hear that." and follows up with, "That's a wound that only God can heal...Remember His love is always steadfast and unfailing.")</div>ioyceshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06270035915803070000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546363824383763410.post-23539511047743735192014-10-31T19:05:00.002-07:002014-10-31T19:05:53.167-07:00Whose child is this? <br />
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial; font-size: small;">
I received a call from an old friend and he shared a story which gave me goosebumps... </div>
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He's a volunteer marriage counsellor and one of the couples that had signed up had some issues moving forward...the lady was rather reluctant to accept the marriage proposal as she has a 10 year old son from a previous marriage and the boyfriend did not want that child.</div>
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My friend tried talking to the gentleman but he was rather adamant. Then one day in the shower, my friend heard from God:</div>
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<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial; font-size: small;">
"That 10 year old boy is my child. Tell the man that it is an honor and privilege for him to take care of my son and I am extending this offer to him. But he can choose to say 'no'."</div>
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He called the guy immediately and arranged a meeting and released the word. The man broke down and was convicted...</div>
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and now, he's married to the mom and loves the boy very much too.... </div>
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again, I'm reminded of the principle...."Truly, whatever you do to the least and the lowliest, you did it to Me..."</div>
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ioyceshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06270035915803070000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546363824383763410.post-15100030663440989712014-09-22T09:46:00.001-07:002014-09-22T22:35:31.383-07:0014 Years A Christian<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
<span style="line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">While on a long train ride home with a relatively new friend, we were sharing experiences of our Christian journey and he said something rather profound..</span><br />
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<i>"The more I know, the more I realize I don't know..!"</i><br />
<i><br /></i></div>
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A vision came to my mind... a chicken which was previously in a battery cage being released into green pastures and now has no boundaries and is free to roam around and eat whatever it likes...<br />
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The chicken is me.</div>
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<br />
In the cage, even though it was cramped, I felt safe. Food, though, unappetizing and highly processed, came at regular intervals and I knew where everything was supposed to be and if any fellow chickens got out of line, I can even peck at them to let them know!</div>
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But in the pastures, I have to forage for food and there is no timetable and no gates....and the skies are wide open above me....what if predators come eat me?!</div>
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And I asked God, "Lord! What if the eagles catch me?! I'm afraid of the eagles! I prefer the safety of the cage!"</div>
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"What nonsense. You are an eagle yourself. Fly."</div>
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Ahhh...no wonder I wasn't producing eggs in the cage...I wasn't even a chicken to begin with........</div>
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ioyceshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06270035915803070000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546363824383763410.post-8243988305971569932014-09-19T23:32:00.000-07:002014-09-20T02:01:43.200-07:00A change of perspectiveWhile chatting with the Keeper today...the topic of female genocide in China and India came up...and I wanted to show off my deep spiritual insight on the matter and quipped, "LL and I were talking about it and she said that abortions are modern day child sacrifices..."<div><br></div><div>And I was going to add that the devil especially hates women 'cos it's all gender-selective abortions...</div><div><br></div><div>Then it suddenly hit me...if my parents had known that I was female, maybe they would have chosen the same route...</div><div><br></div><div>So the doctor whom I have been blaming all along for telling my parents that I was a boy hence causing them to have unmet hopes and crushing disappointment might have inadvertently saved my life... </div><div><br></div><div>Hmmm...it could also have been one of my own fingers at the strategic moment when the scan was being conducted...a 'V for victory' sign perhaps? </div><div><br></div><div>But no matter what, here I am, world!! </div><div><br></div><div>Thank you God for preserving my life and choosing me to be female! Indeed, You have great plans for me and You have created me to be a blessing to many! Woohoo! </div>ioyceshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06270035915803070000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546363824383763410.post-73160898764796614012014-09-17T06:25:00.005-07:002014-09-17T18:03:52.946-07:00More than Ashes<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>My theme song for this season... </i></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;"><i>I'm more than what these ashes say</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;"><i>They will fade away when He comes for me</i></span></div>
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</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
By grace, through faith in Christ I'm saved</div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
I am not the same when He looks at me</div>
</span></i><br />
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<i><span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;"></span></i><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;"><i>I am the rose, the joy for which You died</i></span></div>
<i><span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;">
</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
And this I know, I move You with delight</div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
And when my heart condemns on every side</div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
I take refuge in the truth: I am the rose to You</div>
</span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<i><span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;"></span></i><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;"><i>My life is more than meets the eye</i></span></div>
<i><span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;">
</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
I'm hidden now in Christ and I'm one with Him</div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
My love is real before His eyes</div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
He's ravished by the sight of one glance from me</div>
</span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<i><span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;"></span></i><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;"><i>I am the rose, the joy for which You died</i></span></div>
<i><span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;">
</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
And this I know, I move You with delight</div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
And when my heart condemns on every side</div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
I take refuge in the truth: I am the rose to You</div>
</span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<i><span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;"></span></i><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;"><i>I am the rose, I am the lily</i></span></div>
<i><span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;">
</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
I am Yours, I'm Your beauty</div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
There's gonna be a wedding,</div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
It's the reason that I'm living,</div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
To marry the Lamb</div>
</span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<i><span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;"></span></i><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;"><i>I'm more than what these ashes say</i></span></div>
<i><span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;">
</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
'Cause they will fade away when He comes for me</div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
My love is real before His eyes</div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
He's ravished by the sight of one glance from me</div>
</span></i><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<i><span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;"></span></i><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;"><i>There's gonna be a wedding,</i></span></div>
<i><span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;">
</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
It's the reason that I'm living,</div>
</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
To marry the Lamb</div>
</span></i><span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana; font-size: 11px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i>To marry the Lamb</i></div>
</span>ioyceshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06270035915803070000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546363824383763410.post-48593484013861055312014-09-17T05:47:00.003-07:002014-09-17T06:09:00.441-07:00The Aroma of Brokenness<i style="color: #222222; font-family: arial; font-size: small;">For now, let us examine the three fragrances mentioned in this passage. Spikenard was an exotic and costly perfume, which may have been part of the Tabernacle incense recipe. This fragrance was greatly valued in ancient Israel. It is also called 'Nard'. This aromatic oil is extracted from the roots of a perennial herb that grows in India. It is found growing 'in the cleft of the rock crevices' of the Himalayan Mountains. </i><br />
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<i>Nard was one of the most expensive perfumes in the time of Yeshua, and a pound was said to cost a year's wages. This fragrance comes from the roots, which speaks of the deepest place of our heart, thus, it was associated with acts of love and devotion. The aroma from the roots linger long after other scents had faded. </i></div>
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<i>Here, the bride begins to speak of her own fragrance, which is released into the atmosphere by the love she expresses for her Beloved. The aroma of her spikenard fills the banqueting hall and all the guests recognize her privileged position at the table and the intensity and costliness of her love for Him. Heaven can recognize a true bride of Yeshua on the earth, by the spiritual fragrance we emit. Most of the ingredients found in both the sacred anointing oil and the incense are some form of plant resin, gum, sap or distilled product which exudes or 'drips' from the heartwood of trees or shrubs. Others are extracted or ground from reeds, bark, flowers or roots. </i></div>
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<i>The idea is that the Lord is looking for a particular fragrance which is released from our deepest 'heartwood' when we have been pierced to the heart, or gashed open, like the plant which contains these aromatic gums. In other cases, it is the 'stripped' bark of an aromatic spice tree or shrub, again signifying the stripping of our 'self' which produces a sweet fragrance and acceptable offering to the Lord. </i></div>
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<i>Once when I was in Alabama, attending a conference where I didn't know anyone. I felt a bit shy, so I kept to myself the whole time. There was a man attending who asked if he could have a word with me during one of the breaks. He was hesitant to share what he had seen, since he didn't know me and felt it might be presumptuous of him to say such a thing. But he felt the Lord wanted him to share with me. So I gave him permission to speak freely. He said that as he watched me walking across the lobby, he had a vision of my physical heart looking badly wounded, scarred and it was painful to behold these injuries. But then, he saw that shafts of light were coming out from all the gashed and torn areas. Each broken place of my heart was sending out light to others, like a lighthouse, and that others were drawn to this light and were comforted by it. This is my closest memory of what he shared. </i></div>
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<i>In those days, I knew little of Song of Solomon and I had never heard of the piercing and gashing of the 'heartwood' of trees to extract the most precious and aromatic oils and perfumes. I now realize that some of the most costly fragrances that our lives emit come from the painful tearing of the heart, which we have experienced. We didn't ask for these wounds and we would have avoided them if it were possible. But the fact is that the Lord allowed them, though it caused Him terrible pain to see our hearts torn and shattered like this. But He knew that He would be the Master Perfumer, and would bring forth a sweet aroma that only suffering can produce, and that it would bring comfort, love and acceptance to so many broken ones. </i></div>
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<i>I have seen this principle in operation, over and over. The very areas where I've been hurt the deepest have been the areas where the Lord has given me strong and comforting authority to bring others out of similar wounds or offenses. </i></div>
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<i>So many hearts are broken by verbal, physical or sexual abuse in their youth. The damage to their young lives and souls is incalculable, and the Father's heart is broken with them, as these cruel and evil deeds are done. But His heart is redemption, healing and overcoming victory. To those who will run to Him in their brokenness, He is a faithful Father, and He will bring good, even out of these evil and horrific acts, which He never dreamed or intended for our lives. </i></div>
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<i>The Lord God is not the author of these grievous evil acts, but He will bring us out of it with His goodness, if we will open up our pain to Him. Thus, our precious and costly aroma of suffering will be a balm to others who are suffering. Our love and compassion will heal many, if we will bring these torn hearts to the Healer. He is faithful. </i></div>
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- Jill Shannon- Unveiling the Song of Songs</div>
ioyceshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06270035915803070000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546363824383763410.post-34019773717236524172014-09-14T07:32:00.002-07:002014-09-14T07:32:43.009-07:00BlissThe way my husband looks at me...or rather, how distracted he is by me, brings home the truth that bliss, truly, is wanting what already is yours.<br />
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<i>Song of Solomon 7:10 </i><br />
<i>I belong to my beloved and his desire is for me. </i><br />
<br />ioyceshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06270035915803070000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546363824383763410.post-78563772098583786172014-09-07T21:27:00.003-07:002014-09-07T21:27:42.124-07:00What kind of a man did I marry??!<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
A man who, after I embarrassedly told him that I was not feeling pursued despite him giving me two hours of his undivided attention everyday, sincerely apologized, validated my feelings and started giving me even more attention...</div>
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A man who, after hearing my passionate spiel on how processed meats are carcinogenic, decisively cuts them right out of his diet...</div>
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A man who, after learning how troubled I was regarding a matter, chooses to fast and pray on my behalf...</div>
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A man....who truly makes my heart sing with gratitude every single day...</div>
ioyceshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06270035915803070000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546363824383763410.post-37370226941360595452014-09-03T21:28:00.000-07:002014-09-07T21:33:14.034-07:00the counsel of the Holy Spirit brings peace...My soul was vexed...after attending church and seeing a person who had treated me poorly worship the Lord flamboyantly..<br />
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and then I came home and saw on facebook some interactions between this person and some of our now mutual friends and was sorta horrified... "Do they not know her true colours? Is she so good at concealing herself that no one knows her true self? Do these people not have discernment? Are they not able to see her for who she is?" Come to think of it, maybe she doesn't know her true self...<br />
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So it was with a rather troubled heart that I fell asleep and then upon waking up, I thought about the matter some more....and this time, the thoughts were from another slant... "would I prefer that she not have encouraging friends? What if this is part of her healing journey? Would I trust the lord to deal gently with her and to restore her?<br />
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Yup, I can bless her. I can ask the lord to show her love and compassion and to give her a hope and a future. I can trust the Lord to do what is right and just. I do not have to trust her or have a relationship with her but I can forgive her and give her over to the Lord.ioyceshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06270035915803070000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546363824383763410.post-67389858135579183862014-08-27T21:29:00.000-07:002014-09-07T21:31:50.069-07:00 mannaA couple weeks ago, I listened to a itinerant preacher share his experiences...one of the recurring themes in his sermon was about how he lavishly shared his resources especially money... he would tip taxi drivers, waitress, air stewardesses...and basically anyone he came into contact with because he believed in using manna to spread the kingdom of God...I was somewhat leery because I thought he was hinting that the congregation should give him more money (he was selling some books..) and got slightly offended and wasn't open to his message at all and thought why should I give money away to spread the gospel? Surely one could do that in other ways....<br />
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Fast forward to Monday this week....I was asked to go for a lunch on short notice and there were four persons in total...I was early and waited for the other three to arrive...the moment they did and sat down, one of the girls looked at me directly and said, "I was going to treat the other two persons but I didn't factor you in."<br />
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Can someone say ouch?<br />
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This girl used to sell insurance...and I had bought several policies from her...during the time she was my agent, she was rather nice and generous..... now she's working in a different field and she loves to share about how much God loves her and how mightily He is using her in supernatural ways..<br />
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I guess maybe she didn't realize that instead of insurance, she's selling the gospel of Christ now...<br />
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How much would the meal would have cost? About $35 per person tops.<br />
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If I were a non-believer, would I believe that the God she serves is an abundant loving God?<br />
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Nope.<br />
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As a believer, would I believe that God has truly transformed her life?<br />
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Nope.<br />
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And the silly thing is..it's really not about the money.... I could have paid for it myself...it's not a big deal....it was just how unloving and unkind the person came across...no one likes to be excluded...God, please give me the grace to forgive and flush my heart with love for this person...<br />
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<br />ioyceshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06270035915803070000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546363824383763410.post-4226157324991444242014-08-26T21:29:00.000-07:002014-09-07T21:31:25.038-07:00静婷爱神God is truly gracious.<br />
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A friend was commenting on my new surname and she said that it sounds similar to 'awesome'.<br />
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I told her cheerfully that my Chinese name is indeed very awesome..!<br />
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Word for word, it would translate to 'Chin Ting loves God'.<br />
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I told my friend that it would be sufficient to just write my Chinese name on my tombstone when the time comes because that would be the highest tribute..that if at the end of my journey on earth, the people around me would remember me as a person who truly loved God....ioyceshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06270035915803070000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546363824383763410.post-51079164475975474362014-08-21T03:08:00.000-07:002014-08-21T04:14:10.399-07:00finally? We've received a response from the National Visa Centre yesterday.<br />
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Now we are *just* waiting for the interview date at the US embassy in Singapore....there should be instructions on a medical exam before the interview as well... The interview shouldn't be too much of a hassle... from people who have gone through the interviews, the questions should focus on how well I know my husband and details of our relationship. </div>
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Was looking at people's timelines from this email to the day of interview.... 4 weeks in Singapore and the other one was 6 weeks in Madras...</div>
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The other thing that slightly concerns me are the police checks...which was not asked for.....but other people have mentioned that police checks are necessary for ALL the countries that a person has lived in...and that has resulted in further delays....so for me, that means Switzerland and Australia?? Hmmmm... </div>
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Lord, please pave the journey for us....and preserve our peace and joy!!!<br />
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**<br />
<br />
Oh wait!!!! I just realized that I forgot to give thanks for the fact that the documents have been processed in LESS than 60 days as per the last correspondence....<br />
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God, in You only do we place our trust...<br />
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(and also thought about the police checks...am wondering if the people who mentioned that they needed checks from other countries were Singaporean...but guess most probably not....and now I'm thinking that the police check which I have already submitted will be sufficient...so yeah...I will stop fretting and just rest.....) </div>
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ioyceshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06270035915803070000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546363824383763410.post-1880205879103859572014-08-18T23:50:00.003-07:002014-08-18T23:50:55.401-07:00Conversationwatched <a href="http://www.dutchquest.com/watch-now/">Sons of God</a> (free online with promo code and vimeo sign up!) yesterday...and someone who was miraculously healed from cancer said something along these lines...<br />
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"God did not want to talk to me about my cancer- He wanted to talk about my destiny. So I started talking about my destiny with Him. And one year later, the cancer was all gone."<br />
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That sounds like a brilliant idea... talking to God about things that He wants to talk about...<br />
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<br />ioyceshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06270035915803070000noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546363824383763410.post-17302469013569659222014-08-18T04:34:00.001-07:002014-08-18T04:34:33.697-07:00The best spouse<div>I think the Keeper is the best husband in the world. </div><div><br></div><div>Why? Is it because he is so accommodating? Considerate? Gentle? Kind? Handsome? Hardworking? Godly?</div><div><br></div><div>Yes, he's all that.</div><div><br></div><div>But he's the best husband because he is God's choice for me. </div><div><br></div><div>:))</div><div><br></div><div>There is no perfect spouse...it is faith in a perfect God that will keep a marriage buoyant in turbulent waters...that a marriage is not meant to make you or him happy, but a marital union is meant to make the both of you more holy...and when you aim for 'holy', 'happy' is an incidental by-result...</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div>ioyceshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06270035915803070000noreply@blogger.com0